You cling to those moments and you need them to be repeated. These are thoughts that are impregnated with feelings.
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Right now, when you say “I am”, what does it mean to you? What are you? Are you made of this huge amount of memories stuck in your head? Can you really find yourself inside of you? Is there a “self”? Or even a selfie is made of no self? Do you think you are the same “self” as you were 10 years ago? Is it the same “person”? There are many questions that I cannot answer for you. You have to feel it.
Even when you analyze your body, you can assume that it is made of memories. Genetics coming from your father, your grandfather. Your mom, your great grandmother. You were the chosen one to survive in the middle of the Natural Selection phenomenon. You’re the next generation that continues to live in this world while collecting memories. You’re a bunch of memories, collecting more memories. You can collect memory throughout your five senses, and the two most important ways of collecting memories is by touching and seeing.
When you touch the back of your loved one during a massage. When you see the eyes of your boyfriend shinning in love when he looks to you. These are memories that are so deep carved in us that is very hard to forget. After a break us, how can I possibly not cling to these memories? I know that you don’t want to get totally rid of those memories, because they are part of who you are, you just want it to stop compulsively coming into the surface of your mind and creating sensations that are not good for you.
Remember: Feelings aren’t reliable guides to reality. You cannot trust them.
1 - FEELINGS AREN’T RELIABLE GUIDES TO REALITY
You can’t get rid of feelings so easily. You can’t get rid of the memories, the thoughts… When your ex is not around you, these memories come back in a stronger way. You have that feeling of wanting those moments to happen again. You cling to those moments and you need them to be repeated. These are thoughts that are impregnated with feelings. You can’t get rid of these thoughts completely, but you can control them… instead of letting them control you. You don’t have to be attached to those memories if you don’t want to.
6 - YOU CAN DECIDE WHICH FEELING YOU ENGAGE WITH
Remember: You can decide which feeling you engage with. There are many modules competing in your mind to see which one will control you. Maybe right now the Mate Retention Module is trying to have you think over and over again on how to solve the situation, how you can get a mate. Let this module go away. You can influence which modules win or lose!
8 - YOU CAN INFLUENCE WHICH MODULES WIN OR LOSE
A break up is a kind of death. You, or they, decided to end something. Something that was part of you ended, and I know it is extremely hard to accept, it’s hard to be grateful for what you experienced and move on, but that’s the key. I’m not saying that it will happen immediately. It takes time. It may actually take a lot of time. You need to give time to yourself. Know yourself again. Don’t jump into another relationship. Stick to you so you can notice yourself. What have changed in you? Who are you? After all of this time with him, with her, with them… WHO ARE YOU NOW?
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